In the Night Garden has been a staple of British children’s bedtimes for almost twenty years. Created and produced by the same people who brought us Teletubbies, it is every bit as odd as you’d expect for a calming, soothing bedtime show aimed at preschoolers made by those folk.
Like many kid’s shows, it doesn’t take much adjusting of the angle you’re viewing from to see things in a different light, and when my son was younger, but old enough that we’d seen every episode a few times, I started tweeting some of those odd perspectives. Since Twitter was always fleeting, and is now what it’s become, I decided I wanted to collect them here.
The look my wife gave me when I called two of the characters from In the Night Garden Namby Pamby and Sweaty Betty like that isn’t basically their names.
In the Night Garden tonight Makka Pakka gave Upsy Daisy a rock and she just turned around and gave it to Iggle Piggle right in front of him. What an ungrateful bitch. It’s like Last Christmas but with a rock.
Today in the Night Garden the Pinky Ponk has gone all Hindenburg and all Derek Jacobi can say is “What a funny Pinky Ponk!”
Tonight in the Night Garden, Makka Pakka showed us he usually keeps his cart hidden behind a large rock, thereby suggesting theft can be an issue in the Garden, even of things people apparently need to get around. Meanwhile, Makka Pakka’s trumpet has apparently been sabotaged, and what Upsy-Daisy thinks will solve the issue is her dancing, because she’s a self-centred sociopath. Somebody put a stone in Makka Pakka’s trumpet so obviously his rock security system isn’t working. It was a pretty blue stone though, so Upsy-Daisy just took it.
Also, Upsy-Daisy confirmed she can’t even go for a simple quiet stroll in the Gardens without shouting her own name all the bloody time. Shut up Upsy-Daisy, people are trying to enjoy the peace.
Tonight in the Night Garden Upsy-Daisy is getting annoyed she can’t do her annoying singing because the Tombliboos are playing their music, because once again Upsy-Daisy is an obnoxious self-centred bitch.
Now Upsy-Daisy is chasing her bed all over the Garden which is probably an allegory for something.
Tonight in the Night Garden, Upsy-Daisy actually received a telephone complaint about her loud, obnoxious singing from the Pontypines, and she hanged up on them, thereby proving she knows what a nuisance her singing is, and she doesn’t care. Later, Makka Pakka showed up and improved the situation by accompanying her on his trumpet, once again proving he’s the hero we need.
Tonight in the Night Garden everyone is riding the Pinky Ponk but no-one is questioning where the Pinky Ponk juice they’re all drinking has come from. Perhaps it is best they don’t know – to be fair the Clangers should be asking a similar question of the Soup Dragon.
Tonight in the Night Garden Iggle Piggle blatantly checks out Upsy-Daisy’s bottom whilst she’s distracted by the Pinky Ponk.
Tombliboo Ooo has just committed the sins of greed and gluttony, but despite the garden clearly being based on heaven they haven’t been thrown out.
Tonight in the Night Garden we were told that Tombliboo Ooo was higher than Tombliboo Eee — but neither were as high as whoever wrote the script in the first place.
Tonight in the Night Garden the Tombliboos looked unusually large when disembarking the Pinky Ponk, presumably because a video compositor forgot they’re supposed to be smaller than Iggle Piggle.
Tonight in the Night Garden, the Ninky Nonk is refusing to stop for the Pontypines whilst still stopping for everyone else. It’s treating them like a right set of Wottingers.
Tonight in the Night Garden, Upsy-Daisy and Iggle Piggle are goose-stepping through the garden, thereby hinting at their support of totalitarian militaristic regimes.
Tonight’s episode of In the Night Garden is the one where someone puts a rock in Makka Pakka’s trumpet, and frankly the episode doesn’t spend any time at all questioning who would do such a thing even considering the small population of the garden. The fact that Upsy Daisy takes the rock away almost as soon as it’s discovered so it can’t be dusted for prints makes her my prime suspect. That and everything I know about her as a person.
Tonight in the Night Garden Upsy-Daisy is going around kissing everything like some kind of sex pest. She’s not really kissing people, only things, which is somehow weirder.
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