Category: Fail

For the failure in all of us. But mainly other people.

Categories
Fail Technology

The problem with Microsoft

I realised today what Microsoft’s main problem is. Simply enough, they don’t think things through properly. If it seems like a good idea at first they’ll run with it, and no-one will to have the courage to pipe up and say ‘hang on lads, is this really such a good plan?’ until after it’s too late.  Take their purchase of Skype, for instance. Is there anyone besides Steve Ballmer who thinks that Skype is worth $8.7b? Or the Kin phones, cancelled only six weeks after they were launched.

The Kinect too. It may be doing rather well, but as a gaming tool it is cripplingly ineffective compared to a good old-fashioned controller and the sort of games that are coming out are awkwardly twisted around this control interface. Impressive it may be, practical it isn’t. Or, for instance, the Windows 7 FAQ. I took a look today trying to find out the system requirements for Windows 7 for work. One of the questions caught my eye.

Wow. So in order to find out what version of Windows you are running on your PC, you have to already know what version of Windows you are running. Fantastic logic, and a worrying sign of what to expect from Microsoft’s tech support. You’ll be on the phone for ages with the same cyclic argument. A little further down, the section about drivers seems to be getting increasingly panicked:

It’s almost as if this is a transcript of an actual support call, where it is becoming increasingly apparent to the caller that they don’t know as much about computers as they thought they could get away with. Knowing this planet however, that caller is probably an IT manager somewhere.

 

 

[cross-posted from Outdated by Lunchtime]

 

Categories
Fail Life

Today's poorly worded headline

I’m sure that BBC News assign the headlines for their RSS feed to a junior writer or work experience kid. The RSS headlines are often far more informal or ambivalently worded than the headline on the actual article.

Today, I couldn’t help but notice this one:

All I thought was ‘wow, that crash must have really upset him’.

 

Related: Today’s poorly chosen headline

Categories
Fail Life

Worst Commute Ever

Today contained what must be the most annoying piece of not-irony-but-what-most-peole-call-irony ever.

Long story short, someone who was giving a presentation had decided to bring his own equipment instead of paying to hire ours, and failed to bring a long enough extension cable. He came down to our office and announced that he was from Network Rail and he needed our help. After a bit of pleading, I told him we’d help him out this time, but if my train was late today I’d charge him double.

I think he now owes me quite a bit of money.

I got to Waterloo on my way home to fond only a handful of trains were on the departure boards, and all of them were already late. Figuring the earlier train might be the first to depart, I jumped on the 16:05 train, which at that point was already 45 minutes late in leaving.

Almost 30 minutes later, the guard finally turned up, had a quick look, and then let us know that there the driver hadn’t turned up yet so we weren’t going anywhere.

I got off the train to find the departure board had changed the train from being the 16:05 to being the 16:50 – and interesting choice, as that meant the train was still half an hour late. Why not change the time to make it a train that wasn’t supposed to have left yet?

At that point I gave up, met up with my wife (who leaves work after me) and headed for the Tube, and a journey that ended up taking over an hour to get as far as Richmond, where our final leg – a bus journey – was hampered by such bad traffic we decided it would be better to eat out that evening.

Even after we’d finished, the traffic was bad enough that we decided it would be better to walk to Twickenham Station to pick up our bikes and cycle home.

So, what caused this massive, widespread disruption?

As it turned out, it was caused by a single fatality, at Surbiton, at 10am that morning. Somehow, a single fatality at that spot, on a completely different line to the one I was using, caused total and complete havoc on the entirety of the South West Trains network, by causing both staff and trains to be stuck out of position.

Makes you wonder if they somehow knew that was a weak spot in the system.

Oh yes, and if you’re wondering, we did make it home – a total of over three hours after I left work, if you include stopping for dinner.

Categories
Fail

Dear Mr Postman

Dear Mr Postman:

Whilst I admire your careful and cunning attempt at hiding my parcel, I fear it has not been, on the whole, all that successful:

20110331-053338.jpg

Although, I am happy you tried this rather than putting a stupid red postcard through the door telling me you’ll be keeping my parcel until the day before the time I’m able to actually get to your depot to pick it up.

Categories
Fail

BBC go overly dramatic

Looking at my RSS feeds today, I saw that the BBC News website is making use of an unusual image to highlight a story. It looks like something from out of the Bill, circa 1980s.

Image: BBC News

I guess they always have to dig a stock photo out of the archive for breaking stories, but why do they even still have this one?

Categories
Fail iPhone 4 Life

Front facing cameras

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the iPhone 4. It is a massive step up from the previous generation iPhone and leaps and bounds ahead of any other smartphone on the market.

One of its highlighted features is a front-facing camera, something that had been repeatedly requested by iPhone fans using the earlier generations of the device. And it’s great; the video chatting feature (dubbed FaceTime) works effortlessly well and the video quality, although not substantial, is not bad. The front-facing camera is also pretty good for self portraits, although it is a bit low in resolution (640 x 480 pixels, if it interests you).

The problem comes if you are trying to take an early morning photo of your cat being cute, and forget that you last used the camera app in front-facing mode, because then you are confronted with yourself in all your morning splendour:

 

Categories
Fail

Today's poorly chosen headline

I love a badly worded headline. Nothing like it for a quick giggle. Today’s comes from the Bournemouth Echo:

Annoyingly, the RSS headline differs from the actual page headline.

 

Categories
Fail

Honesty

Well, at least Krispy Kreme are reasonably honest about their products…

… it’s just a shame they put it on the underside of the box so you don’t find out until your own sprog has eaten the whole dozen.

Categories
Fail

Full Hybrids

Just a quick note on so-called ‘full hybrid’ cars.

You don’t exist.

Simply put, ‘full hybrid’ is a contradiction in terms. It’s a bullshit marketing term that doesn’t mean what I think they want it to mean, and actually sounds worse than an empty gimmick tagline.

No wonder ‘green’ cars aren’t taking over the world.

That, and the G-Whiz, which is (was) the stupidest piece of shit to ever be allowed on the road. I’m all for saving the planet, I’d just rather do it without sacrificing my dignity.

Sorry, rant over.

Categories
Fail

Getting Around

A quick note to those in the record industry. Yes, I understand you want to make it clear whether some of your older back catalogue is in stereo or not. Just, be a little more considerate as to your wording of such things.

That is all.